Perfection. Perfect. I wish I had, I wish I looked like, why can't my _____ be like her's/his? Sound familiar?
Listen I'm the first one to hand out a compliment. You have great hair? I'll tell you! New purse? Love it! Dress that looks AH-mazing on you? YOU ARE ROCKING IT!!! So why can't I say that to myself? Do you have issues with talking poorly to yourself? Or are you the one in a million that loves every aspect of yourself and YOU should be the one blogging this topic?
Right. We all have our "stuff". One of my things that we discuss often on our show is self care. I'm really good at scheduling time to get massages, take girlfriends to lunch, coffee, dinner, drinks. I'm the first one to send a "Congratulations" card when you achieve something, so how come I'm so hard on how you all SEE me?
Grab your popcorn because I'm about to dig in. Deep. Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a black tie event with hubs, Mr. Big. I was so excited we got to stay in a hotel without Lil Momma and were continuing on to another hotel and concert the next night. I was a little rushed packing and when we arrived to the hotel to get dressed for our swanky event I realized the worst had happened. No I didn't forget the dress. Nope not deodorant...Any more guesses? Yup. The Spanx. The ONE great think about spandex or whatever the hell they are made of. Completely left them in the drawer, at home. NOW WHAT??? No time to hit the store, and the W hotel, although they pride themselves on "whatever wherever" did NOT have a pair for me. So I did the only thing I could do. I put on my panties and slipped into the dress. As I was telling Big what was happening I came out of the bathroom and he said "you SO don't need them, you look amazing and here's a brand new diamond bracelet to go with your gorgeousness". Ok the last part didn't happen but I had no choice but to believe the other stuff because we HAD. TO. GO.
So here's when we first arrived. Nice, right? We match, we are both smiling, but all I can see is NO SPANX and what the hell is my ass jutting out from? I've been working SO hard at the gym, counting my cals, not drinking EVERYTHING in sight...but then? Magic happened. Mr. Big doesn't understand social media, that's another story for another day, so he didn't get it when I had to pick the best pic to post and check us in. After I posted I put my phone away on silent, I know right?! UGH But corp wifey duties called.
Later that night I opened my face-place to see if the world of friends had banned together to protest my giant ass or something worse... But what I saw was all of these wonderful messages from my friends: "you look great" "wow what a dress" "hot momma" etc. Not one said "where are your Spanx?" or "I bet Sir-Mix-Alot would love you". Nope not one. Just that damn vampire still living in my brain telling me those awful things.
Here's the real real, I wanted to share this pic because I loved these performers and I'm always amazed when I see people doing them with no holds barred. But I didn't. I didn't share it with anyone. Why? Because I can't stop staring at my giant hips. I know, pathetic right? Or are you with me? Have you done this to yourself? Well I'm here to say I'll stop it if you will. I mean what do we care?! I felt great, I mean aside from getting over the Spanx fiasco, but I was at a beautiful event with my love, talking with great people and dancing the night away so why can't the picture just say that? Can't I just post it and stand proudly behind it? Well sure, if people would stop being so damn rude.
Listen, we all have insecurities from time to time but the one thing that really helped me is when I saw this saying "progress not perfection". I can look at these pictures and see MAJOR progress from where I came from and I'm so happy. I refuse to let these negative thoughts take me over. I am strong, I am enough, I am beautiful, and damn it I'm proud to be me.
So here's "THE" pic..the pic in my question and I'm not focussing on anything but the fun we had that night. I'm not looking for anyone to post, I'm not fishing for compliments, this is my journey and I need to post it and see that the world doesn't stop. That not one person gives a damn about my hips in this pic and are only seeing my smile, how tall that guy is and how flexible this other chick is! I mean what?!
So there it is, I'm not perfect but I am progressing. I ask you all to memorize this mantra with me and let's make "progress" the new "perfect".