I talk a lot on our show about healthy living, exercise, etc however one topic is glossed over often. Anxiety. Yes I have it and no it doesn't define me nor will I allow it to break me. When I was younger I worried. A lot. Like about everything; what if I go to school and I forgot to bring something, what if I get there and don't know anyone, etc. Later it changed to "I just should skip it" or "can you do it for me?". My friends often played the "what if game" with me for hours so I could look at events coming up and see it from every angle so I wouldn't be surprised.
It wasn't until my Mom passed and I was in therapy where I discovered all these "quirks" that I've been trying to hide my whole like is actually a combination of OCD behaviors and anxiety. What a relief right? No. I'm thinking 'great, now what?!' Do I have to start taking a pill? DO I have to tell everyone I meet? Do I have to wear a new name tag or go to a different line when I check out at Target? Well, no. What it does mean is that now that I know WHAT it is I can learn HOW to live with it. Not cure it, LIVE with it.
One of the most annoying things about living with anxiety and being a performer is no one knows. Ok YEY that means one day I WILL accept an Oscar but until that happens I'm constantly trying to appease everyone else and not have THEM freak out when I'm the one totally freaking out. A lot. Like a lot a lot.
So, now what? Now you know one of my little secrets so what?! Well, exactly so what. This is my journey and as I'm discovering many people suffer from different levels of anxiety. I find comfort in knowing I'm not alone and when I find someone that really gets why I'm crying over something that happened a month ago or that hasn't even happened yet I'm thrilled! SO HAPPY to have found another stress case! We should band together and start our own gang. Well, maybe not a gang. Gangs scare me. We live in Chicago and gangs are real. SEE??? Here we go...down and anxiety rabbit hole. But you know what? I choose to stay here. On planet Earth with you reading this right now. I am safe. I am clam. I got this.
Do you suffer from anxiety? Let me know your story, it's very therapeutic. Let's promise not to hide any more. Instead let's promise to let our freak shine and live the life we were destined to live, a life of greatness and success.